A bacon and Stilton jacket potato sounds amazing, though. If I were in this spot, I swear at this point I would assume shes only doing this to bother me. Love this anecdote. Maybe she got it confused with lemongrass? You could even put a few around the office so it looks like it was an office admin that did it. thanks! A hot bath, with scented salts and a glass wine after work sounds awful good to me right now. I don't have an obstruction, so I am not really sniffing up snot or mucus. Thats a good idea! It seems that the OP has taken a lot of measures to make sure that the coworker is comfortable. Theres also a possibility that the scent is still retained by her body (though I dont know I feel thats true for patchouli and her coworker would have to be incredibly sensitive). (and frankly, it is no longer OPs problem to address. Every. Theyre going to keep pushing and pushing until either they 100% get their way, or the person accommodating them says no, Ive done enough for you, thats all your getting., For the record, I love the phrase go pound sand. This gesture communicates the non-verbal message, "I am virile, powerful and dominant". She . Sometimes its a subtle smell their bodies give off, sometimes its body odor after a day of work. Ive occasionally used new products at home or at work that were stronger than I anticipated. Its also a scent that has some religious/racial connotations to people. It came on after a bad cold last year. If her scent doesnt bother you then maybe you can try it out and if you dont mind it, then theres no way for her to complain. If you have a sniffling toddler, youll definitely want to check that a blueberry or a bead didnt magically make its way up a nostril. One, about patchouli just dont. That usually means they are fooling around or are a snitch. The reason to ask someone who doesnt live with you is that we can stop smelling things after a while, so a partner or roommate might not be able to smell it either. Jane says it smells like patchouli. Making Jane smell your purse or sleeves every time she complains about it should put an end to whatever offense she is imagining. Wear a smoking jacket when I stepped out? We used to talk and be cordial but I cant even say hello to her anymore because Im afraid if I look at her stupid face Ill punch her. I have coworkers who occasionally wear scents, but we work in different areas, and I only have to endure the smell during the elevator ride, etc. . Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability, and my fight or flight response kicks in. So yeah. Or, if OP isnt the type to be cold at work, perhaps a fan set on low that could blow the scented air away from the coworker? Our nine-year-old son has trouble remembering to chew with his mouth closed. But I love my body wash and would be very unwilling to give it up as it doesnt seem to be nearly as potent as perfume. Yes!! Your nose is a faucet, and theres no way to turn it off. I am scent sensitive but not to all scents, and I have colleagues who are more sensitive than I but who can tolerate things I cant.). My office got new carpet and my other pregnant co-worker and I had to work from home for a week because we couldnt deal with the smell. Suggest management isolate her if living in the world is too much for her once accommodations have already been made and she wont. I definitely read this letter as the OP being targeted and picked on if not bullied since this coworker seems to not notice the others in the office that are also sure to be wearing scents. My bosses and I came up with some unique ways to handle my problem until I finally got a remote job for the same company. For instance, I dont notice the smell of coal tar shampoo because I grew up in a household where both parents used it, but Ive heard people complain about the smell. I guess my point is, OP, you really might have an unpleasant smell youre not aware of and fixing deodorant (I went back to aluminum-based deodorants) might fix everything. But you can pry my Gain laundry detergent out of my cold dead hands. I love patchouli. Sniffle. When they are attracted to you, in a romantic and sincere way, you sense that you are wanted, needed, and special. So yeah, I *need* to have my scented stuff going at home regularly to keep my home smelling decent (and Ive had people say that most of the time its actually great!) When she complained, I told her she could either get a doctors note and take it HR, she could quit, or she could go pound sand. Your coworkers shoot you irritated looks as you clear your throat (again). On an airplane I dont need to interact with others, so being anti-social is not an issue. You see the salesmen on the metro who wear little vials of oil on these cross-body belts. IF the coworker is mentally going hippie scents, pagan scents, Indian scents, whatever, then lemon would probably hit the same scent mnemonic. But long workdays also give a snitch the chance to witness all other workers' comings, goings, and other activities. My husband had to calm me down. Misophonia is a neurophysiological disorder in which sufferers face an aversive reaction to otherwise normal sounds and (visual) stimuli. But that requires A: Absolutely believing the coworker that they smell something, and convincing them you believe them and realio trulio WANT to get to the bottom of this. Indicate gently, very gently, why it's a problem. Is it possible the smell is in your sheets or towels? To cap it off, she has started picking her nose quite explicitly. If the co-worker was a jerk about it I might get dramatic and fling myself to the floor and wail, what more do you want from me? But thats really better left for fantasy, I suppose. Its Bully 101 to push and push and push until the victim explodes, and then so and so blew up at me for NO REASONoh, poor me. I don't know what I would do without them some days. Youve made many changes to try to accommodate her and theyve been unsuccessful. I do agree your coworker is being rude. Several people wrote in to say that . I vote for the desk-moving solution. This was my second reaction (after the first, which was sympathy for OP!). Im going to ask that we stop with those suggestions now and instead focus on how she should deal with the coworker, which I think will be more helpful to her. I also cant help but think what you would do if, say, you were an avid gardener and loved to grow heavily scented flowers at home, and the scent lingered on you at work. I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. They are everywhere and they are stronger and longer lasting. If symptoms last more than a month and over-the-counter remedies havent done the trick, its time to see a physician.. But doesnt hurt to try, and Alison and others offer great suggestions. My mother loves her strong old lady perfume. The readers have some great ideas. . I have to agree. Ooh, I would love to have a coworker who smelled like cookies! LOL I do admit Ive had that urge. OK? Yeah, I think OPs already tried very hard to remove any possible scent. :). I was thinking that it might be something like this for the OP. Now she recognizes that shes gotten more sensitive, but for years she would accuse everyone and every restaurant of over-spicing their foods. My sniffing started about 4 years ago. Not to sound unkind, but Im not double-washing my entire wardrobe in vinegar and different detergent, throwing out candles, etc. I had to have an accommodation that I was warned early enough to take PTO for the day of and the day after, and that it HAD to be approved at no penalty to me, because I just could not be there. Also changing all your hygiene products is actually pretty freaking arduous for a lot of people. On that tip, OP, I find oils to be *awful* not only do they stick to fabricate around you, but the scents they carry are so concentrated. I think its because its easy to get sucked into the where is this mystery scent coming from? detective story. Its too bad because it is important not to question people about things like allergies, but as soon as somebody realizes nobodys allowed to do so..also I think its worse with smells because telling somebody they smell is a very personal, emotional thing So if someone realizes they can get at someone like that, while covering it up with oh, my allergies! then its going to happen. I finally had to write up one worker who insisted on spraying perfume in the office. I would also say they need to go to their manager or HR. Not just hippies, but pagans of various stripes, persons of Indian descent (thats where patchouli came over from,) etc. Unfortunately, it made my office mate sneeze, and similarly to your coworker, he was sensitive to it. A co-worker has bad allergies, instead of blowing her nose she sucks down her snot and swallows it. Woodchuck Hard Cider right here. I agree with you that the OP has already done a lot and the coworker is being snarky. I mean slimy as opposed to the warm feeling you have after talking to someone who is genuine. Unfortunately, I have a colleague with whom I work quite closely who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive to. Even in Oakland, until the past 10 years or so, it was really common for Black women to be the predominant group wearing indie oils.. Both conditions could be well managed with conservative therapies, such as nasal steroids, antihistamines, or decongestants. If I was told to not ever use it again in my personal life because it was bothering someone at work, Id be mighty peeved off. If this person is truly sensitive to odours, then there could be remnants from your efforts. What if coworker says the only acceptable product is $100/bottle? Whatever brand they use has a very off putting smell. Most wearers would recognize such disgust like the OP did and stop wearing it but I can see others loving it so much that they would not give it up. The thing with perfume is that lots of people arent putting on their fancy fragrances to go to work. I honestly tried to accommodate my coworker but there was nothing more I could do. Thermostat Wars conveys what Im trying to say so much better than I could!! It took a long time, and as a result I cant use that detergent anymore because I associate it with spending hours with a mattress that reeked of pee. As someone who is very sensitive to scents, I just wanted to say to the LW how NICE it is that you put in so much effort to be un-scented! This is so true. Skip to step 2, talking to the coworker (it sounds like you DID and it doesnt say how she responded to that other than she continues to make snide comments, but if you think laying it out more specifically and clearly again with her is possible, that shes reasonable enough for a clear conversation, then go ahead and do this step), agreed. They made a make shift area in a corner wth an old desk and asked me if I Theres also one interesting study that indicates some peoples chemical sensitivity is indistinguishable from an anxiety hyperventilation response, and another that indicates anti-anxiety treatment was helpful in mitigating a fragrance sensitivity. If coworker needs an accommodation they need to ask for it, and they cannot be permitted to continue to be snarky about it and rude. Alisons suggested actions make it clear that OP has reached the end of their ability to help and puts it in Coworker and Bosss court. Also, my perfumes are kept in a closed cedar box that is separate from both my closet and my dresser. this depends largely on the severity of their reaction. I have this problem too. Now I want to go looking for a nice lemon perfume, though. If your coworkers life-threatening allergy is just to high concentrations of scents, thats pretty easy to address by asking colleagues not to wear scented products. Although trace amounts of a smell would only bother people who are really sensitive. I doubt shes likely to react well to someone suggesting this possibility. No one should have to be subject to being told you smell all the time when you have already done a lot to mitigate that. Oh yeah, thats smart too. Ive stopped wearing perfume, have switched to unscented deodorant, and I wash my clothes in unscented detergent. Though we also had an open thread commenter who had smell problems that it seemed might be due to her vinegar rinses, so Id say go easy on those too. Ive asked her to stop, and Id like to ask you to intervene if it continues, because its becoming disruptive, and franklyat this point her continued complaints are starting to feel like harassment., (To be clear, this doesnt sound likeharassment in the legal sense that would need to be based on race, sex, religion, or another protected characteristic but its certainly harassing in the colloquial sense. However, consideration goes both ways and it sounds like your coworker is taking this to an extreme. . Oils and fragrances with higher concentrations of aromatic compounds have more longevity but, in general, less sillage than their alcohol-based and/or less concentrated counterparts. Yes Tom Ford has a fragrance called White Patchouli that I refer to as my rich hippie perfume. Your lemony scented hair will seem like a relief, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000OCEWGW/ref=psdc_166034011_t1_B000GKXYZ2, Oh this is way better! People cant go through life expecting to never have to encounter faint scents. Do four things: 1. Primary care is a good place to start. The coworker is *totally* acting like a jerk. 8 Tips on How to Deal With Difficult People at Work. Concerns are shared. It strikes me that she was initiating a power play. Pause for a moment, look the colleague in the eye, and ask him in a calm and professional voice to repeat what he said. This exact thing happened to me with Hersheys chocolate and a stomach bug when I was a kid. 10% off Management Today's Leadership Learning programme. I had a coworker who happened to have her desk right below one of the (old) building's AC vents, and she would sniffle / cough at least several times every single hour. There are a lot of people who are sensitive to perfumes but dont act like jerks. Last week I walked past a spot where an older lady had gotten out of her car and I could barely breathe for the perfume smell. She had her unit say it was me. Thats trueif I use even diluted vinegar I have to rewash after with normal detergent (unscented is fine). I still cant eat creme brulee. This might be a long shot, particularly since it really just seems like your coworker is being a jerk. Get queasy even smelling it/seeing the bottle. I think it becomes a way to get attention, vent frustration, or just ensure that others are as miserable as the complainer. Regardless, the AGAIN? :) All in all, its just frustrating when youve done everything to accommodate someone and they are still abrasive. Sadly, lots of people fall for this. Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. You have a right to wash yourself in lightly (or heavily for that matter) scented things. Someone I was around complained about my patchouli smell. It seems pretty clear to me that she was referring to essential oils as a subset of perfume, and when she said she stopped wearing perfume she stopped wearing the oils too. Bring the complainer to her house to show that there are no more scented products? Not everything can be accommodated. It seems like you are already doing everything it is reasonable to ask a person to do (and possibly more). Listed as smelling like sky and linen. The bosses had a fit at the landlords there was a fountain in the courtyard that nobody ever checked up about and it was leaking water from pipes in the walls for who knows how long. Re: I Caught My Brother's Friend Sniffing My Panties by Eebrahym ( m ): 9:35am On Sep 29, 2013. Toronto-based journalist William McCoy has been writing since 1997, specializing in topics such as sports, nutrition and health. Or the chair, if its a fragrance she was wearing for a while before the coworker first complained? and if tissues don't work for someone there are medications and netty pots and SO MANY alternatives to sniffling forever and ever. I once sent an employee of mine home for this. Otherwise, theres a whole other layer of gross here. Youve done more than most people would. I would abstain from actively putting on perfume before work, but I wouldnt get up early to shower before work if that wasnt something I felt like doing. OPs coworker is being unnecessarily mean and expecting way too much, and unless shes breaking out in some sort of rash or cant breathe, she may need to get used to the trace amounts of fragrance people inadvertently bring into the office, and stop commenting every time she smells something. I hope this works out and she backs off, but either way, as a scent-sitive person, thank you so much for going through all this effort. Strategies for Dealing with Snitches It was Jack Daniels for me. In this particular case, I think the OP has done enough and its time to bring the boss in to either shut down the rudeness or find the coworker a new place to sit. 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She is imagining flight response kicks in with others, so being anti-social is not an issue recognizes shes.